I don't usually post much about 9/11. It seems so trite after all these years. Everyone and their brother posting and re-posting the same memes and photos year after year and nothing positive ever comes of it. It's not that I don't remember that day with crystal clarity; I certainly do. And it's not that I don't mourn. I am actually bereft every year when September rolls around.
My September doldrums extend back to the very beginning of my life. My dad died in September of 1977. It took me decades to realize that's why I get so sad in September. My body remembers it deep inside, even when I don't have it at the front of my consciousness.
Then, many years later when I was a married lady expecting our first son my husband, Jerry, nearly died in an accident at work. That happened at the end of August but it bled into that September. Septembers make me feel like the world is ending because mine has, twice, and nearly a third time, then.
9/11 was the second time my world ended in September. In my opinion, everyone's did. I remember watching all the news footage, the "War on Terror" and I just knew, America was over. My America, the world I grew up in. And unfortunately I was right.
Everyone started acting out of fear. Legislating out of fear, voting out of fear, instigating ridiculous laws and polices that didn't fix anything, since the horse was already out of the barn. Starting endless wars that just magnify the suffering far beyond the initial loss. It was the beginning of the end. In my opinion that was the day we stopped seeing one another as fellow countrymen and started to see other citizens as enemies, something only exacerbated by the pandemic, gleefully exploited by the media and influencers and politicians to make them money, get them attention.
I remember I was listening to public radio a couple days before 9/11 and they were reporting on our abandonment of freedom fighters trying to stop Al-Qaeda and several missteps our government was making. I remember I said to Jerry, "This is going to come back to bite us". And unfortunately I was right about that too.
At that point Jerry was only a few years removed from active duty in the Air Force. He spent a great deal of time in the Middle East and understood the dynamic. He even flew on Air Force One with President Clinton, so perhaps we understood more about the danger our country was in than most other Americans. When it turned out the Bush administration hadn't even opened boxes and boxes of intelligence provided them by the outgoing Clinton administration it was infuriating. The human cost to gather that intelligence and they didn't even read it? It's a slap in the face to all those who serve.
I try not to dwell on any of it. I would sleep through September if I could. Green Day could have custom-written Wake Me Up When September Ends just for me! Today I read an interview with a 9/11 survivor, about how he quit his job as a banker and went on to a totally different career because he realized life is too short to work at a job you hate. It got me thinking about mindset more than anything.
When Jerry had his accident he had to relearn how to write. How to use a knife and fork. He stopped playing basketball, one of his favorite sports, after falling and almost re-injuring his wrist during a game. He couldn't work at his job anymore. When our son was born he could barely pick him up. His life, as he'd known it, was taken from him in an instant. He wanted to go back to active duty after his accident (he was in the National Guard at the time) but he was no longer eligible because he was now disabled. He could have given up and stayed home for the rest of his life on disability. But he didn't. He got back most of the use of his hands, which the doctor told us later he thought was impossible. The doctor thought Jerry would only get back 10% but he ended up getting back 60-70% between both hands, the result of his incredible determination. He went back to school and got his engineering degree and became very successful. I'm not allowed to divulge his exact job but he's rather famous in certain circles and we are very proud of him. His mindset is what got him through it. He just refused to let the accident steal his optimism and his belief in himself.
Life's too short ~ you hear it all the time but you don't really understand it until you're staring into a smoking ruin that was your well-ordered existence just a moment ago. I thought about this the other day when I was sending my order confirmation emails. If I sell a tool or kit I like to send out links to tutorials showing how to use it if I have one. It's just something I do to try to be helpful. Most people are really thankful.
However, right after I sent my message to one customer I got back an angry email saying she "isn't paying for links" and she's "not interested in links" and she paid for hard copies. So I reassured her she was getting hard copies in the mail and that the links are just extra freebies (I also have a footer in the email with links to my website, my doll club, my Barbie quiz, etc ~ like basically every other business on earth). Well, right away I get another replay to my email going on and on about how she doesn't need any links and she's not paying for them, and then a THIRD email, but then also asking for advice on a completely different doll repair. Now I do have a tutorial showing the unrelated doll repair she was interested in but I wasn't about to send her another hateful link! So I just assured her once again the links are free extras and if she does link to my blog she can search the archives for any repairs she wants. I really wanted to say I didn't think the instructions would help her since she evidently can't even read an email, but I'm not allowed to talk to customers that way on eBay!
But jeez, I mean seriously what are we coming to in this country if I get chewed out for sending someone free extras? What is happening to us? What a miserable life that woman must lead. She can't even accept a gift freely given. I've spent a disproportionate amount of time thinking about her. What happened to her to make her so suspicious and angry? Why does she automatically assume I'm out to cheat her, steal from her?
I do have some idea; if your mindset is that dark you probably see everything in a dark light. She probably causes all kinds of disappointment and conflict in her life just because she responds to other people with such anger ~ such anger she can't even slow down to realize the thing she's worrying about isn't even happening. I recommend Mindvalley all the time, and I'm going to recommend it again. If I were super rich I swear I would just buy a subscription for everyone! Taking Mindvalley classes and meditating has improved my life in countless ways. I'm not a Mindvalley affiliate; I just love it!
When you have a scarcity mindset you think there's not enough for you. Not just enough money but also not enough love, not enough honesty ~ you feel like you have to constantly fight for everything. When you put that aside and see that as Shakespeare said, "The more I give to thee the more I have for both are infinite" you find everything is like that. If you smile at someone they usually smile back. Then they might smile at someone else, who smiles at someone else ~ you made it infinite.
So here's my plea for all of us this 9/11. Don't let it steal our country from us anymore; the real Americans ~ the firefighters that ran into the buildings when everyone else was running out, the people who volunteered to pick through the debris searching for survivors and destroyed their own health, all the people all across the country who mobilize and travel every time there's a disaster of some sort, going to try to help ~ those are the real Americans. Like Anne Frank, I believe that's who we really are. Let's be those people all the time, not just on 9/11, and most of all let's see those people in others.
If you're having trouble dealing with your situation, or you just can't shift your mindset away from negativity please click the free resources below. These are not affiliate links; these are the YouTube channels of some of my Mindvalley teachers who help me get through September and the rest of life.
My name is Amanda, but my childhood nickname was "Mandaline". I am a mother of three turning my passion for creating into a full-time business.